Let’s be honest—we were all born into a family that was broken, raised in an environment that was less than perfect and learned survival skills that keep us from receiving the love we need.

One of the major obstacles to a healthy marriage, even after being married 20 years, is that many spouses are still as emotionally bound to their families of origin as they are to their spouses and they don’t even know it. This is an indisputable law of human nature that cannot be broken except by the grace of God.

God says clearly that the sins (iniquities) of those who have gone before us are passed down to our children, grandchildren and even our great grandchildren. Identifying and addressing these “iniquities,” or family patterns of relating, is not about inserting guilt. Rather it’s about dealing with what took place and taking a truthful look at how our past shaped our present marriage relationship.

Taking the journey through these specific issues is not easy and requires a lot of time and patience. However; to do so helps us deal with and conquer fears, frees us to follow dreams and aspirations, helps us attain peace and helps shape the success of future intimate relationships. Let us, with God’s help, make a commitment to break the sinful generational attitudes and behaviors that have kept us stuck.

Despite turmoil and unresolved hurt in relationships, there are three points of hope for all of us:

  1. There is hope for the healing of past hurts and pains.
  2. There is courage for the faint hearted to deal with those past hurts.
  3. There is wisdom for all who seek to be transformed into the character of Christ.